Thread
Most people suck at receiving feedback.
But if done well, it can accelerate your performance and career.
Here’s how:
But if done well, it can accelerate your performance and career.
Here’s how:
Most of us learn how to give feedback to other people.
We learn frameworks like the sh*t sandwich & speaking with empathy.
But we spend a lot less time learning how to process feedback as the recipient.
We learn frameworks like the sh*t sandwich & speaking with empathy.
But we spend a lot less time learning how to process feedback as the recipient.
If you get better at receiving feedback, you’ll:
• Create stronger relationships
• Get insight on where to improve
• Accelerate your learning and career
You’ll be shocked at how much the ability to receive feedback will set you apart.
5 tactics for receiving feedback:
• Create stronger relationships
• Get insight on where to improve
• Accelerate your learning and career
You’ll be shocked at how much the ability to receive feedback will set you apart.
5 tactics for receiving feedback:
1/ Encourage people to tell you the truth.
According to a Harvard Business Review survey, 67% of managers are afraid of giving feedback to their direct reports.
That’s wild.
If your boss might be afraid to give you feedback, peers or direct reports are probably nervous too.
According to a Harvard Business Review survey, 67% of managers are afraid of giving feedback to their direct reports.
That’s wild.
If your boss might be afraid to give you feedback, peers or direct reports are probably nervous too.
Expectation: "People will default to telling me the truth about what they think."
Reality: People default to being polite to avoid conflict.
There’s often little upside for folks to tell you information that might upset you.
Reward people who speak up.
Reality: People default to being polite to avoid conflict.
There’s often little upside for folks to tell you information that might upset you.
Reward people who speak up.
2/ Turn defensiveness into curiosity.
It’s okay if your immediate reaction is feeling defensive.
That’s totally normal.
Just don’t act on that impulse.
Take a breath & try to assume positive intent.
It’s okay if your immediate reaction is feeling defensive.
That’s totally normal.
Just don’t act on that impulse.
Take a breath & try to assume positive intent.
Try these phrases:
✅ “Thank you for sharing. I would love to dig deeper & better understand so I can improve. What did I say or do that made you think that?”
✅ “I appreciate you sharing. It shows a lot of trust to be able to speak openly. Would you be up for sharing more?"
✅ “Thank you for sharing. I would love to dig deeper & better understand so I can improve. What did I say or do that made you think that?”
✅ “I appreciate you sharing. It shows a lot of trust to be able to speak openly. Would you be up for sharing more?"
Get specific context on where the feedback is coming from.
It'll help you figure out what to change more precisely.
Otherwise, you might accidentally change something that wasn’t the problem to begin with!
It'll help you figure out what to change more precisely.
Otherwise, you might accidentally change something that wasn’t the problem to begin with!
3/ Control your body language and facial expressions.
This one is important.
You have to physically look like you appreciate feedback.
🚫 Scoffing
🚫 Rolling eyes
🚫 Raising eyebrows
✅ Neutral or enthusiastic expression
✅ Unclench your jaw
✅ Take deep belly breaths
This one is important.
You have to physically look like you appreciate feedback.
🚫 Scoffing
🚫 Rolling eyes
🚫 Raising eyebrows
✅ Neutral or enthusiastic expression
✅ Unclench your jaw
✅ Take deep belly breaths
4/ Create psychological safety.
Think about the last time you gave someone honest feedback.
You probably thought, “Gosh I hope they won’t be upset. And I hope they don’t retaliate...”
You get to reduce the anxiety of tough conversations.
It doesn’t have to feel heavy.
Think about the last time you gave someone honest feedback.
You probably thought, “Gosh I hope they won’t be upset. And I hope they don’t retaliate...”
You get to reduce the anxiety of tough conversations.
It doesn’t have to feel heavy.
This is about the long game & you want to celebrate the behavior you want to see.
In this case, you want to celebrate that your colleague is telling you their truth.
Reward them by making it an emotionally positive experience so they’ll want to do this again.
In this case, you want to celebrate that your colleague is telling you their truth.
Reward them by making it an emotionally positive experience so they’ll want to do this again.
5/ Listening doesn’t mean you agree.
Often, we jump to defend or interrupt because we think,
“If I let them talk, they might think I agree and I don’t want them to think that.”
You can listen AND have a different point of view.
You might agree with some parts and not others.
Often, we jump to defend or interrupt because we think,
“If I let them talk, they might think I agree and I don’t want them to think that.”
You can listen AND have a different point of view.
You might agree with some parts and not others.
More importantly, even if you disagree, the feedback is still a valuable data point.
Why?
Because the way the person *perceives* you is as important as your original intent.
Perception is reality, for better or worse.
Why?
Because the way the person *perceives* you is as important as your original intent.
Perception is reality, for better or worse.
You may want to share which parts of the feedback you agree and disagree with.
This can lead to a productive conversation with more understanding on both sides.
Other times, it’s better to listen. If the person might say you’re being defensive, save your reply for another day.
This can lead to a productive conversation with more understanding on both sides.
Other times, it’s better to listen. If the person might say you’re being defensive, save your reply for another day.
Feedback is a gift.
It’s empowering to realize you have control as a feedback recipient.
After all, you’re 50% of a 1:1 feedback conversation.
You have the power to make it a positive experience for everyone involved.
It’s empowering to realize you have control as a feedback recipient.
After all, you’re 50% of a 1:1 feedback conversation.
You have the power to make it a positive experience for everyone involved.
That’s it for today.
If you found this valuable:
1. Follow me for threads on leadership, education, marketing → @wes_kao
2. Ready to build your own course? Join Maven Course Accelerator. You’ll get lots of feedback & meet a community of instructors.
maven.com/accelerator
If you found this valuable:
1. Follow me for threads on leadership, education, marketing → @wes_kao
2. Ready to build your own course? Join Maven Course Accelerator. You’ll get lots of feedback & meet a community of instructors.
maven.com/accelerator
Mentions
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Sahil Bloom @SahilBloom
·
May 29, 2022
Good thread
Misha @MishadaVinci
·
May 29, 2022
This is great!
