It was slightly surprising that Gove was there at all. One of the striking things about the National Conservatives is how much they hate the Conservative government. Perhaps, reader, you who voted Remain and dream of a Labour government and think that you hate the Tories. I can assure you that your feelings are mere distaste compared to the pure flame of loathing that the Nat Cons direct at everyone currently in power. You, after all, expect life to be terrible under a Conservative government. For actual Conservatives, the discovery that they are in charge and everything is awful is much more traumatic.

And yet here was Gove, pouring warm words over the audience like olive oil over a salad. Gradually, it became clear what was happening. Some people might have confronted the conference, told those present that they were wrong. Not Gove. He had come instead to drown them in pure, epic sarcasm. He had come not to bury National Conservativsm, but to troll it.

Was it a problem that the Home Secretary had spent yesterday afternoon attacking the Home Office from the spot where he now spoke? Not at all, he oozed. “That is a sign of a party and a broader movement that is healthy!” Indeed, it could only be healthier if they got the Health Secretary along to say that all the hospitals were rubbish.