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Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage Audio CD – Unabridged, February 8, 2022

4.1 4.1 out of 5 stars 336 ratings

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Full of razor-sharp, big-hearted wisdom.... Couples should read this book aloud to each other instead of writing vows. People who never want to get married should read this book anyway. --Leslie Jamison

An illuminating, poignant, and savagely funny examination of modern marriage from Ask Polly advice columnist Heather Havrilesky

If falling in love is the peak of human experience, then marriage is the slow descent down that mountain, on a trail built from conflict, compromise, and nagging doubts. Considering the limited economic advantages to marriage, the deluge of other mate options a swipe away, and the fact that almost half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce anyway, why do so many of us still chain ourselves to one human being for life?

In Foreverland, Heather Havrilesky illustrates the delights, aggravations, and sublime calamities of her marriage over the span of fifteen years, charting an unpredictable course from meeting her one true love to slowly learning just how much energy is required to keep that love aflame. This refreshingly honest portrait of a marriage reveals that our relationships are not simply happy or unhappy, but something much murkier--at once unsavory, taxing, and deeply satisfying. With tales of fumbled proposals, harrowing suburban migrations, external temptations, and the bewildering insults of growing older, Foreverland is a work of rare candor and insight. Havrilesky traces a path from daydreaming about forever for the first time to understanding what a tedious, glorious drag forever can be.

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About the Author

HEATHER HAVRILESKY is the author of What if This Were Enough?, How to Be a Person in the World, and Disaster Preparedness. She writes the Ask Polly column for New York magazine as well as the newsletter "Ask Molly," and has written for The New Yorker, The Atlantic, The New York Times Magazine, and NPR's All Things Considered, among others. She was Salon's TV critic for seven years. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and their children.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B09FCHDQRR
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ HarperCollins; Unabridged edition (February 8, 2022)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 979-8200852758
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 7.2 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.75 x 1.1 x 5.59 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.1 4.1 out of 5 stars 336 ratings

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Heather Havrilesky
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Heather Havrilesky is an essayist and critic who writes New York Magazine's popular Ask Polly advice column. She is the author of What If This Were Enough? (Doubleday, 2018), How to Be a Person in the World (Doubleday, 2016) and Disaster Preparedness (Riverhead, 2011). Her writing has appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times Magazine, The Atlantic, Esquire, NPR's All Things Considered, and several anthologies. She lives in Los Angeles with a loud assortment of dependents, most of them non-deductible.

Customer reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
336 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book relatable and enjoyable. They appreciate the witty prose and amusing anecdotes that intersperse the insights. The book is described as a fun, engaging read for married couples.

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9 customers mention "Wit"9 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's wit and relatability. They find the prose joyfully wry, with amusing anecdotes interspersed with insight. The book is described as funny but not a joke, and the author completes the story in a beautiful way.

"...And her take on things is fresh and well said. Truly enjoyable and life affirming. Highly recommend for anyone who’s married...." Read more

"Amusing anecdotes interspersed with insight. An honest take on the reality of marriage as it works for this couple...." Read more

"...and stayed up till 5 am reading it because it’s hilarious and witty and un-putdownable!..." Read more

"This is a fun read for married couples. Very relatable and, oh my, does the author know how to turn a phrase. Her wit and style are delightful...." Read more

5 customers mention "Enjoyment"5 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the book. They find it fun and engaging, especially for married couples.

"This is a fun and quick read that will stay with you for a while. And I think lot of reviewers seem to have missed her point...." Read more

"This is a fun read for married couples. Very relatable and, oh my, does the author know how to turn a phrase. Her wit and style are delightful...." Read more

"Thoroughly enjoyed this book...." Read more

"Thoroughly enjoyed this. Read it quickly and will read it again!!!" Read more

Happy Valentines Day!
5 out of 5 stars
Happy Valentines Day!
I got the book on Feb. 8, and gave it my wife on Valentines Day. I had to read it first, just to be sure it wouldn't cause me (the husband) any unnecessary problems. There were points in the book where I was unsure, but Heather completes the story in a beautiful way. It is a very funny book, but not a joke.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on May 4, 2022
    This is a fun and quick read that will stay with you for a while. And I think lot of reviewers seem to have missed her point. If you’re familiar with her style, Havrilesky tends to say the opposite of what she’s getting at. You have to follow her to the end. If you just pull out a quote here or there, you’ll miss it. Ironically, the reviews all focused on the negative things she said, missing the real point, which is that negatives are the best part. The downside is what’s awesome about a relationship that, as she put it, either ends in death or divorce.

    This book is better than Havrilesky’s Ask Polly columns, and that’s saying a lot. She really gets what marriage is about. And her take on things is fresh and well said. Truly enjoyable and life affirming. Highly recommend for anyone who’s married. Anyone who ended a marriage. And anyone who wants to think about how this timeless institution still works in our lives today
    18 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on July 14, 2022
    Amusing anecdotes interspersed with insight. An honest take on the reality of marriage as it works for this couple. I can't imagine talking as much as the author but I've definitely had many of the thoughts.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on February 10, 2022
    I am in LOVE with Heather’s voice since I read ‘What if this were enough?’ (I picked it up in a bookshop when I saw the title because I’ve always had the nagging doubt that nothing will ever be enough for me).

    I love her work here too. I preordered it weeks ago and was waiting anxiously for it. It arrived last night (I’ve never been happier upon realizing what’s in an Amazon box, I was squealing!!) and stayed up till 5 am reading it because it’s hilarious and witty and un-putdownable! (Just read the first paragraph - I was cackling out loud throughout!) I finished it within two days (and was very sleep deprived at work).
    I’m actually getting married this year and it was lovely to read such an honest book right beforehand. I even read the first paragraph aloud to my fiancé. Thank you Heather for existing!! I am grateful to be alive in this world at the same time you are!
    And thank you Bill as well - you seem lovely!
    15 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2022
    I heard an interview with the author on NPR. Her honest and hilarious take on marriage sounded like my girl friends and I letting off steam. No sugarr-coated BS. Which is great...until she has children. Then the book becomes one long "Nana's Brag Book". And every chapter. a happy ending. Not what I was looking forward to.
    10 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on April 14, 2022
    This is a fun read for married couples. Very relatable and, oh my, does the author know how to turn a phrase. Her wit and style are delightful. I am re-reading paragraphs just to laugh again. I purchased because I read a good review in my local paper. I second that review.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on March 17, 2022
    I read an article that Heather wrote and loved it so much that I pre-ordered this book. I am a big fan of women telling the truth about marriage and motherhood. I started off really enjoying this book, and there were some sections that I absolutely loved. I feel the trouble lies in the editing. It became a real downer of a book at times because so much dark truth was strung together one chapter after the next. The end was a little surprising because she finally shared the good parts of her relationship and why they are still together. I would have liked to have some of this positivity weaved here and there into the manuscript, instead of waiting until the end. It shouldn't have been a true surprise that they stayed married in my opinion.
    6 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on February 25, 2022
    We all do annoying things, funny things, ghastly things and great things. Sometimes we even stay together through these episodes. Heather Havrilesky, makes a convincing point that the things that make us human are the things we end up loving in one another. Couples are weird, and families are just bonkers. If you're a a fan this is an easy sale but even if you're not, if you've read the reviews and are on the fence, give Havrilesky a chance. This book is a look into another couple's life and it might even make you appreciate your own partner, family and friends even more.
    8 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on February 23, 2022
    Thirty minutes in this Foreverland was too much. The snarky tone, the unprofessional quality of the author's narration, the sadness I felt for the husband...you have been warned. The reviewer who wrote at length near this review summed it up with eloquence. Wish I had read it before buying this audio.
    33 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • ALICE
    5.0 out of 5 stars Very funny book - insightful too
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 2, 2022
    Loved it! A really funny book, full of anecdotes and "real life" realities. I was aware when buying it that not all the reviews out there were positive, but it's a really good book for anyone who's interested in getting a real-life perspective on marriage.
  • M. Gibson
    5.0 out of 5 stars Fab read!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 26, 2023
    Brill holiday read, if you’re married you’ll relate. Defo one to make you giggle!
  • JB
    2.0 out of 5 stars hmm. not as good as the hype
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 11, 2022
    She is annoying to read about and I struggled to feel any connection to their problems. It felt more like an ode to her glorious husband rather than any analysis of real marriage.