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David M. Buss
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When Men Behave Badly: The Hidden Roots of Sexual Deception, Harassment, and Assault Audio CD – MP3 Audio, April 27, 2021

by David M. Buss (Author), Tom Parks (Reader)
4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 297 ratings
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“An exceptional book” (Helen Fisher) by a leading evolutionary psychologist and sex researcher that lays out a new theory of sexual conflict, exposing the roots of the dangerous dynamics that underpin men’s predatory behavior ― and what can be done to address it.

Sexual conflict permeates ancient religions, from injunctions about thy neighbor's wife to the permissible rape of infidels. It is etched in written laws that dictate who can and cannot have sex with whom. Its manifestations shape our sexual morality, evoking approving accolades or contemptuous condemnation. It produces sexual double standards that flourish even in the most sexually egalitarian cultures on earth. And although every person alive struggles with sexual conflict, most of us see only the tip of the iceberg: dating deception, a politician's unsavory sexual grab, the slow crumbling of a once-happy marriage, a romantic breakup that turns nasty.

When Men Behave Badly shows that this "battle of the sexes" is deeper and far more pervasive than anyone has recognized, revealing the hidden roots of sexual conflict―roots that originated over deep evolutionary time―which define the sexual psychology we currently carry around in our 3.5-pound brains. Providing novel insights into our minds and behaviors, When Men Behave Badly presents a unifying new theory of sexual conflict, and offers practical advice for men and women seeking to avoid it.

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  1. Language
    English
  2. Publisher
    Brilliance Audio
  3. Publication date
    April 27, 2021
  4. Dimensions
    5.25 x 0.5 x 6.75 inches
  5. ISBN-10
    1978643195
  6. ISBN-13
    978-1978643192
  7. See all details
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Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Brilliance Audio; Unabridged edition (April 27, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1978643195
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1978643192
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.39 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.25 x 0.5 x 6.75 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 297 ratings

About the author

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David M. Buss

David M. Buss

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After completing his doctorate in at the University of California, Berkeley, David Buss spent four years as Assistant Professor at Harvard University. He then migrated to the University of Michigan, where he taught for 11 years before accepting his current position at the University of Texas at Austin. His primary interests include the evolutionary psychology of human mating strategies; conflict between the sexes; prestige, status, and social reputation; the emotion of jealousy; homicide; anti-homicide defenses; defenses against sexual victimization; and stalking.

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4.4 out of 5 stars
297 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book provides good, factual information that helps them understand sexual conflict. They describe it as an engaging and easy read that offers insights and solutions.

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7 customers mention "Information quality"7 positive0 negative

Customers find the book provides good information and insights that help them understand sexual conflict. They say it offers factual information and solutions for issues. The book is described as fascinating, carefully written, and engaging. Readers mention it's a useful, daring, and instructive guide for both men and women.

"...This book will bring you more insights and more understanding of where your opposite sex is coming from (evolutionary perspective)...." Read more

"...to discuss (e.g., sexual violence), it does so with a deep review of the scientific literature and careful language accessible to both scholars and..." Read more

"Engaging, easy to read, a must read." Read more

"...or paths to recovery or solutions for issues but the information it gives is very factual and encompasses the who what why and how of most if not..." Read more

3 customers mention "Readability"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and recommend it.

"...Superb read. I highly recommend." Read more

"Engaging, easy to read, a must read." Read more

"When Men Behave Badly is an excellent book laying out decades of research by Buss and his colleagues explaining bad male behavior...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Fe
    5.0 out of 5 stars Are you in an ONLINE DATING WORLD?
    Reviewed in the United States on February 26, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    The media could not be loaded.
    To my fellow WOMEN!! This book will bring you more insights and more understanding of where your opposite sex is coming from (evolutionary perspective).

    This book will serve as your guide to dealing with the intricate strategies of online dating!
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  • Steve Ceresnie
    5.0 out of 5 stars A Look Through the Evolutionary Lens Reveals the Roots of Conflict Between the Sexes
    Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2021
    Verified Purchase
    If you are interested in sexual conflicts, sexual desire, and mating, read this book.

    The evolutionary lens examines the hidden roots of sexual conflict, lurking in plain sight once you understand the empirical research findings presented in this important book.

    Sexual conflicts stem in part from evolved sex differences that underly the sexual psychology of females and males.

    These sexual conflicts show up in relationships between the sexes: sexual harassment; intimate partner violence; sexual assault by strangers, acquaintances and those who claim to be lovers; and stalking in the aftermath of breakups.

    For example, Andrew Cuomo is the most recent of too many men who treat women as sexual prey. The 165 page report prepared by Letitia James, the Attorney General of New York investigating Governor Cuomo, highlights his behavior: buttocks grabbing, breast grabbing, leering comments and questions such as, “Have you cheated on your husband?” “Have you been with older men?” “Would you find me a girlfriend?” Cuomo saw a woman state trooper who worked for him and got her assigned to his security detail and then tagged her for harassment.

    Buss reminds us that biologists define sex by the size of the gametes. Males have small gametes - sperm - DNA packed with 23 chromosomes, and a flagellum or outboard motor. Females have large gametes with 23 chromosomes and nutrient filled eggs.

    Human males make several million sperms per day or about 1,500 per second. Males release anywhere from 20 to 300 million sperm cells in a single milliliter of semen.

    For females, during fetal life there are about 6 to 7 million eggs produced. From this time no new eggs are produced. At birth, there are approximately 1 million eggs; by puberty, only 300,000 eggs remain. Of the remaining eggs, only 300 to 400 will be ovulated during a women’s reproductive years.

    Men can produce a child with sexual intercourse (in minutes some women say) with no further investment. Women require a metabolically costly nine months of internal gestation to produce that same child, often accompanied by months of breast feeding.

    Dr. Buss develops many research based findings to help us understand sexual conflict and why some men behave badly.

    These evidenced based concepts include:

    Short-term vs Long-term mating strategies

    “I was looking for a lifetime lover, and she was looking for a friend.”
    —- Jim Croce

    Attractive Discrepancies

    Types of Sexual Deception - including common deceptions in computer dating sites

    Intimate Partner Violence

    Stalking

    Number of Reported Sexual Partners for Males and Females

    Distortions in Males Regarding Perceived Cues of Female Sexual Interest

    Affairs in Males and Females

    Jealousy in Males and Females

    Mate Guarding

    Backup Mates

    The Dark Triad of Personality Traits in Men Who Behave Badly…and more.

    I especially liked Chapter 3: “Struggles Within Mateships,” which includes a section on, “The Evolutionary Recipe for Mating Harmony.”

    Go to YouTube to listen to Dr. Buss talk with many perceptive interviewers. I particularly liked Dr. Michael Shermer’s interview with Dr. Buss.

    I recommend reading, “The Evolution of Human Sexuality,” by Don Symons, a classic text Dr. Buss mentions in many of his interviews.

    Professor Buss concludes his book with the following trenchant remarks:

    “Men’s sexual violence toward women remains the most widespread human rights problem in the world. Deep knowledge of men’s and women’s sexual psychology will help create conditions to reduce sexual violence. Information about the evolutionary of sexual conflict will help. Knowledge that women are not passive pawns in a male game will help. Progress rests with the recognition of a fundamental change in sexual morality—-that women themselves, not boyfriends, husbands, or fathers, should have sole autonomy over their own bodies. Female choice about when, where, with whom, and under what conditions they consent to sex is the deepest and most fundamental component of women’s sexual psychology. It is a fundamental human right. Although men have coevolved strategies to undermine it, that freedom of choice should never be compromised. A deep understanding of coevolution of sexual conflict in humans will not magically solve all problems. But I am convinced it is the light and the way.”

    Amen.
    29 people found this helpful
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  • Nidhi Shrivastava
    4.0 out of 5 stars A must read!
    Reviewed in the United States on May 12, 2021
    An interesting read about the "battle of sexes" aspect told through the eyes of David Buss, a professor of psychology and expert on human behaviour and evolution in society. Using psychological and behavioural evidence, Buss digs deep into how gender politics operate within the context of sexual violence. An important book in the midst of the #MeToo movement. This book seeks to further understand why do men engage in this type of violence. Using case studies, Buss argues that based on science that not all men are sexual predators. He justifies his claim by stating that "sexual harassers score high on the Dark Triad of personality traits - narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy" and again using this concept of dark triad, Buss further argues that women can be sexual aggressors too.

    Buss's monograph is, therefore, engaging in a current conversation. The only critique that I can offer is that it is very specialized literature that caters to a particular academic audience or audiences who are interested in this subject. T

    Overall, an interesting read. Thank you Netgalley for the electronic ARC of his monograph!
    5 people found this helpful
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  • Rebecka Hahnel-Peeters
    5.0 out of 5 stars A fascinating and carefully written must-read on sexual conflict
    Reviewed in the United States on May 17, 2021
    Verified Purchase
    Sexual conflict permeates our daily lives, and it leads to harm toward both genders. While this book covers several topics that are not fun to discuss (e.g., sexual violence), it does so with a deep review of the scientific literature and careful language accessible to both scholars and laypeople.

    Buss's newest boom is a must-read for anyone who's been affected by sexual conflict or knows victims of sexual conflict. Superb read. I highly recommend.
    16 people found this helpful
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  • Yira Carvajal
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book.
    Reviewed in the United States on March 5, 2023
    Verified Purchase
    Engaging, easy to read, a must read.
    One person found this helpful
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  • DIY or Die
    3.0 out of 5 stars Hard to listen to
    Reviewed in the United States on September 15, 2021
    Verified Purchase
    I like the idea of audio books as I have a 8 hour drive twice a week and it's hard to keep the truck on the road while I'm trying to read. Good solution right :)
    All jokes aside this book has a lot of good information. However, I don't know if it's the book, or the narrator, but it is kind of monotone and hard to listen to.
    This book was suggested to me and I've listened to it 1.5 times so far. There isn't any guidance or paths to recovery or solutions for issues but the information it gives is very factual and encompasses the who what why and how of most if not all bad behaviors of men.
    This book is the first building block to finding a path for recovery knowing why we behave the way we do. Being able to put names to our traits will make finding a plan much easer. Also this book would be extremely helpful for women trying to identify problem behaviors for the men in there lives.
    Keep in mind I have adult A.D.D. It's not easy to listen to and I imagine it's not at all easy to read, but it's worth the knowledge it possesses.
    12 people found this helpful
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  • Phrost
    5.0 out of 5 stars A careful, detailed, compassionate examination of an uncomfortable subject
    Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2021
    Verified Purchase
    In order to address any problem one must begin by understanding that problem as it is, not as we wish it was. And there are few subjects as thoroughly uncomfortable to delve into the root causes of than sexual assault and male violence towards women.

    At each turn, the author carefully uncouples what is—the psychology behind the behaviors—from what ought to be: a world in which these behaviors are virtually eliminated. This is a feat few manage to do well, which itself is partly to blame for why we have had such poor success in addressing these problems.
    17 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Nicole Chardenet
    5.0 out of 5 stars Arrived just fine
    Reviewed in Canada on January 7, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Very good book, and it was in good (used, I'm pretty sure) condeition.
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  • Marcelo Buratto
    3.0 out of 5 stars Interessante
    Reviewed in Brazil on July 2, 2023
    Verified Purchase
    É uma obra interessante sobre sexualidade humana e os conflitos e perigos que pode provocar. Ela é centrada em descrever as atitudes sexuais inadequadas de homens, que podem causar prejuízo físicos e emocionais às mulheres. No entanto, achei que faltou ao autor desenvolver mais sobre a psicologia desses homens, o porquê de agirem desta forma. Será perversidade, falta de empatia, ou falta de habilidades sociais? Seria interessante uma obra mais bem elaborada.
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    Marcelo Buratto
    3.0 out of 5 stars
    Interessante

    Reviewed in Brazil on July 2, 2023
    É uma obra interessante sobre sexualidade humana e os conflitos e perigos que pode provocar. Ela é centrada em descrever as atitudes sexuais inadequadas de homens, que podem causar prejuízo físicos e emocionais às mulheres. No entanto, achei que faltou ao autor desenvolver mais sobre a psicologia desses homens, o porquê de agirem desta forma. Será perversidade, falta de empatia, ou falta de habilidades sociais? Seria interessante uma obra mais bem elaborada.
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  • Leslie Konermann
    5.0 out of 5 stars Essential
    Reviewed in Germany on August 25, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    Profound information about female and male mating preferences and strategies, including conflicting interests and how they are dealt with versus how they had better be dealt with! A must read.
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  • twowhitecats
    5.0 out of 5 stars Better than the title suggests
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 15, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    I loved this book. It talks about how evolutionary psychology influences both men and women. I learned about both sexes. It proves it's 'not all men', talks about inbuilt biases which society doesn't take account of. Everyone should read it. I think men will be interested to learn that 50% of domestic violence is perpetrated by women. It changes your perspective.
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  • Esha
    5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful, Gripping, Enlightening
    Reviewed in India on October 20, 2022
    Verified Purchase
    Data backed understanding of men’s and women’s psychology is crucial to navigate gender conflicts. Buss explains the roots of sexual conflicts and provides sound solutions for the same.
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