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Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking Paperback – January 29, 2013
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“Superbly researched, deeply insightful, and a fascinating read, Quiet is an indispensable resource for anyone who wants to understand the gifts of the introverted half of the population.”—Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project
NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY People • O: The Oprah Magazine • Christian Science Monitor • Inc. • Library Journal • Kirkus Reviews
What are the advantages of being an introvert? They make up at least one-third of the people we know. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over working in teams. It is to introverts—Rosa Parks, Chopin, Dr. Seuss, Steve Wozniak—that we owe many of the great contributions to society.
In Quiet, Susan Cain argues that we dramatically undervalue introverts and shows how much we lose in doing so. She charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal throughout the twentieth century and explores how deeply it has come to permeate our culture. She also introduces us to successful introverts—from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Passionately argued, impeccably researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet has the power to permanently change how you see yourself.
Now with Extra Libris material, including a reader’s guide and bonus content
- Print length368 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherCrown
- Publication dateJanuary 29, 2013
- Dimensions5.16 x 1.01 x 7.95 inches
- ISBN-100307352153
- ISBN-13978-0307352156
- Lexile measure1170L
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The author of the book Quiet reveals the power of a bittersweet outlook on life, and why we’ve been so blind to its value. | Harness your hidden talents, empower communication at home and at work, and nurture your best self with this guided journal based on book Quiet. |
Editorial Reviews
Review
“Cain offers a wealth of useful advice for teachers and parents of introverts. . . . Quiet should interest anyone who cares about how people think, work, and get along, or wonders why the guy in the next cubicle acts that way. It should be required reading for introverts (or their parents) who could use a boost to their self-esteem.”—Fortune
“A rich, intelligent book . . . enlightening.”—The Wall Street Journal
“Charm and charisma may be one beau ideal, but backed by first-rate research and her usual savvy, Cain makes a convincing case for the benefits of reserve.”—Harper’s Bazaar
“A smart, lively book about the value of silence and solitude that makes you want to shout from the rooftops. Quiet is an engaging and insightful look into the hearts and minds of those who change the world instead of tweeting about it.”—Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology, Harvard University, author of Stumbling on Happiness
“As an introvert often called upon to behave like an extrovert, I found the information in this book revealing and helpful. Drawing on neuroscientific research and many case reports, Susan Cain explains the advantages and potentials of introversion and of being quiet in a noisy world.”—Andrew Weil, author of Healthy Aging and Spontaneous Happiness
“Those who value a quiet, reflective life will feel a burden lifting from their shoulders as they read Susan Cain’s eloquent and well documented paean to introversion—and will no longer feel guilty or inferior for having made the better choice!”—Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow and Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Management, Claremont Graduate University
“Susan Cain has done a superb job of sifting through decades of complex research on introversion, extroversion, and sensitivity—this book will be a boon for the many highly sensitive people who are also introverts.”—Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person
“Quiet legitimizes and even celebrates the ‘niche’ that represents half the people in the world.”—Guy Kawasaki, author of Enchantment: The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds, and Actions
“Susan Cain is the definer of a new and valuable paradigm. In this moving and original argument, she makes the case that we are losing immense reserves of talent and vision because of our culture’s overvaluation of extroversion. A startling, important, and readable page-turner that will make quiet people see themselves in a whole new light.”—Naomi Wolf, author of The Beauty Myth
“Quiet elevates the conversation about introverts in our outwardly-oriented society to new heights. I think that many introverts will discover that, even though they didn’t know it, they have been waiting for this book all their lives.”—Adam S. McHugh, author of Introverts in the Church
“Gentle is powerful . . . Solitude is socially productive . . . These important counter-intuitive ideas are among the many reasons to take Quiet to a quiet corner and absorb its brilliant, thought-provoking message.”—Rosabeth Moss Kanter, Harvard Business School professor, author of Think Outside the Building
“Memo to all you glad-handing, back-slapping, brainstorming masters of the universe out there: Stop networking and talking for a minute and read this book. In Quiet, Susan Cain does an eloquent and powerful job of extolling the virtues of the listeners and the thinkers—the reflective introverts of the world who appreciate that hard problems demand careful thought and who understand that it’s a good idea to know what you want to say before you open your mouth.”—Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice
“An intriguing and potentially life-altering examination of the human psyche that is sure to benefit both introverts and extroverts alike.”—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
“Cain gives excellent portraits of a number of introverts and shatters misconceptions. Cain consistently holds the reader’s interest by presenting individual profiles, looking at places dominated by extroverts (Harvard Business School) and introverts (a West Coast retreat center), and reporting on the latest studies. Her diligence, research, and passion for this important topic has richly paid off.”—Publishers Weekly
“This book is a pleasure to read and will make introverts and extroverts alike think twice about the best ways to be themselves and interact with differing personality types.”—Library Journal
“An intelligent and often surprising look at what makes us who we are.”—Booklist
About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
If these statistics surprise you, that’s probably because so many people pretend to be extroverts. Closet introverts pass undetected on playgrounds, in high school locker rooms, and in the corridors of corporate America. Some fool even themselves, until some life event—a layoff, an empty nest, an inheritance that frees them to spend time as they like—jolts them into taking stock of their true natures. You have only to raise the subject of this book with your friends and acquaintances to find that the most unlikely people consider themselves introverts.
It makes sense that so many introverts hide even from themselves. We live with a value system that I call the Extrovert Ideal—the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight. The archetypal extrovert prefers action to contemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. He favors quick decisions, even at the risk of being wrong. She works well in teams and socializes in groups. We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual—the kind who’s comfortable “putting himself out there.” Sure, we allow technologically gifted loners who launch companies in garages to have any personality they please, but they are the exceptions, not the rule, and our tolerance extends mainly to those who get fabulously wealthy or hold the promise of doing so.
Introversion—along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness—is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.
The Extrovert Ideal has been documented in many studies, though this research has never been grouped under a single name. Talkative people, for example, are rated as smarter, better-looking, more interesting, and more desirable as friends. Velocity of speech counts as well as volume: we rank fast talkers as more competent and likable than slow ones. The same dynamics apply in groups, where research shows that the voluble are considered smarter than the reticent—even though there’s zero correlation between the gift of gab and good ideas. Even the word introvert is stigmatized—one informal study, by psychologist Laurie Helgoe, found that introverts described their own physical appearance in vivid language ( “green-blue eyes,” “exotic,” “high cheekbones”), but when asked to describe generic introverts they drew a bland and distasteful picture (“ungainly,” “neutral colors,” “skin problems”).
But we make a grave mistake to embrace the Extrovert Ideal so unthinkingly. Some of our greatest ideas, art, and inventions—from the theory of evolution to van Gogh’s sunflowers to the personal computer—came from quiet and cerebral people who knew how to tune in to their inner worlds and the treasures to be found there.
Product details
- Publisher : Crown; 0 edition (January 29, 2013)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 368 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0307352153
- ISBN-13 : 978-0307352156
- Lexile measure : 1170L
- Item Weight : 11.2 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.16 x 1.01 x 7.95 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #1,828 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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About the author
SUSAN CAIN is the author of the #1 New York Times bestsellers QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, and BITTERSWEET: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole. She has spent the last twenty years exploring a particular realm of human nature: the quiet, the sensitive, the thoughtful, the bittersweet. It has always seemed clear to her - and to her millions of readers - that this way of being can lead to a richer, deeper form of happiness. Susan’s books have been translated into 40+ languages, and her record-smashing TED talks have been viewed over 50 million times on TED and YouTube combined. Susan is the host of the Audible series, A QUIET LIFE IN SEVEN STEPS, and the QUIET LIFE online community. Join her on Substack at TheQuietLife dot net.
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Customers find the book engaging and well-written. It provides insights into introversion and encourages them to be themselves. The book is full of personal stories and historical accounts that hold their attention from cover to cover. Readers appreciate the book's understanding of quietness and how it illuminates their personalities. They find the communication and understanding issues between introverts and extroverts helpful.
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Customers find the book compelling and engaging. They describe it as well-researched, well-written, and life-affirming. Readers also mention that it makes them feel worthy and acceptable.
"...It's absolutely beautiful. So much so that it ought to inspire every reader to analyze their own lives and become better, well rounded individuals...." Read more
"...It was very interesting. It involves industrial change, work force changes, and even parenting changes...." Read more
"...It was impeccably researched, entertaining and lovingly written, though I was often distracted by Cain's deliberately broad use of the word "..." Read more
"...This book taught me more about myself than I've ever known. It read like my biography...." Read more
Customers find the book insightful and thought-provoking. They say it helps them discover their strengths and weaknesses, and provides excellent research and practical applications. The book is considered helpful and impactful, providing excellent advice about proper care of MBTI instruments.
"...The ideal person is outgoing, friendly, loud, charismatic, and charming, certainly not qualities that your average introvert posses and as such get..." Read more
"...Think before they speak or act (pg. 8, 168) Prepare more for speeches and negotiations (pg. 8)..." Read more
"...It was impeccably researched, entertaining and lovingly written, though I was often distracted by Cain's deliberately broad use of the word "..." Read more
"...The wealth of information and insights in this book cannot be overstated - especially if you are an introverted type of person who has always felt..." Read more
Customers find the book helpful and encouraging for introverts. It provides new insights into introversion and its idealized form. Readers appreciate that it's okay to be quiet, resolute, and have strength not shared by others.
"...The ideal person is outgoing, friendly, loud, charismatic, and charming, certainly not qualities that your average introvert posses and as such get..." Read more
"...I loved hearing the definition of an introverted person that wasn’t framed in a negative way compared to an extroverted person...." Read more
"...Cain is intent on helping introverts understand and accept themselves, as she guides all of us to increase our consciousness of introversion and..." Read more
"...the most important thing I got from this book is that it's okay to be myself, it's okay to feel the way I do...." Read more
Customers find the book engaging with personal stories and intriguing historical accounts. They say it takes them on a journey of discovery, exploring cultural, historical, and biochemical aspects in depth. Readers appreciate the recent, well-described research and practical approach to the topic.
"...The ideal person is outgoing, friendly, loud, charismatic, and charming, certainly not qualities that your average introvert posses and as such get..." Read more
"...and interpretation of existing research, but it is also sprinkled with pleasant anecdotes and a small sample of personal interviews...." Read more
"..."Quiet" covers an incredible breadth of territory, exploring in-depth the cultural, historical, and biochemical basis of introversion...." Read more
"...It includes lots of research from psychology, sociology and other social and medical sciences about introversion and associated personality types..." Read more
Customers find the book insightful and helpful for understanding quietness. They say it illuminates their own personalities and helps them understand the quiet child. The book provides sound research and evolutionary theory, and resonates with readers.
"...The ideal person is outgoing, friendly, loud, charismatic, and charming, certainly not qualities that your average introvert posses and as such get..." Read more
"...knowing this about myself, I was astonished by how Quiet illuminated my personality, the personalities of those I knew, and my relationships...." Read more
"...enjoyed the chapters explaining how they look upon courtesy and peaceful quietness as of more value than other cultures...." Read more
"...More than a bunch of facts about introverts, Quiet is a fun book too. I liked Cain's conversational writing style...." Read more
Customers find the book helpful for improving communication with others. They appreciate its focus on issues between introverts and extroverts, as well as deep, meaningful conversations. The topics chosen are cheerful and easy to understand. Readers also mention that they are better prepared to communicate with all types of people.
"...I’m aware that sticks strictly to introversion and that is targeted at a popular audience...." Read more
"...but it is also sprinkled with pleasant anecdotes and a small sample of personal interviews...." Read more
"...talking to extroverts chose cheerier topics, reported making conversation more easily, and described conversing with extroverts as a "breath of..." Read more
"...You can go somewhere else. Cain doesn’t describe or investigate much. She describes one service at one church...." Read more
Customers find the book comforting and helpful. They say the author is empathetic, supportive, and approachable. Readers mention feeling more comfortable with their feelings, historical, psychological, and biological aspects. The book helps them feel more comfortable in small groups or one-to-one situations.
"...I know many extrovert who are truly caring, thoughtful and deeply loving individuals, qualities that Cain seems to assign to Team Introvert...." Read more
"...I got from this book is that it's okay to be myself, it's okay to feel the way I do. There is not something `wrong with me' that I have to `fix.'..." Read more
"...in environments favorable to your own personality—neither overstimulating nor under-stimulating, neither boring nor anxiety-making...." Read more
"...Quiet delves into all aspects of introverts such as the historical, psychological, biological...." Read more
Customers have mixed opinions about the book's pacing. Some find it refreshing and helpful for improving performance, while others feel it gets a bit slow and the premise shifts from solid to unrealistic.
"...This is unrealistic, impractical, and unwise. The reality remains that introverts are frequently overlooked as suitable job candidates...." Read more
"...Work slowly and deliberately (pg. 11) Ability to focus intently on one task and high abilities of concentration (pg. 11)..." Read more
"...This leads to several factual errors as well as missing countervailing or counterbalancing data sets...." Read more
"...it just made me feel better about who I am ... it explained the reason for behaviors that I've always thought were downfalls in my personality..." Read more
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- Reviewed in the United States on August 21, 2014I typically don't write a whole lot of reviews but I have got to admit that this is one of those books that I wish the whole world could read. I would argue its importance is on the scale of such religious texts such as the bible when it comes to understanding/treating our fellow men. Maybe its a bit of hyperbole but I don't back down from such a comparison.
Its that good.
I will admit that I would consider myself an introvert and as such may have a certain bias for such a book that promotes the value of the introvert personality as this book so does. I would also like to point out that the author is also a self-proclaimed introvert and will have the same kind of bias toward introversion hence why she would write a book on the topic. Those 2 points being made lets dive into it.
Part one of the book is designed to set the stage so to speak. She introduces the terminologies of introversion/extroversion in the introduction and explains how she will use the two terms throughout the rest of the book. Its pretty straightforward and easy to understand. To be honest the average individual probably understands and uses the two terms just as she does but its always good to start a serious discussion (I consider this book pretty close to a giant discussion of ideas and principles between reader and author) with a common understanding of terms in order to avoid misunderstandings. I will be clear that here is when things get boiled down to the simple extrovert vs introvert argument. It may seem overly simple and stereotypical to pigeonhole someone as one of these classes but for the sake of discussion it makes things much easier and she makes that distinction clear that most people are not as black and white as introvert vs extrovert yet more of a blend of the two. But once again for the sake of discussion the basic introvert vs extrovert is outlined and defined
After that she dives into how today's society has evolved into an "extrovert" society. She spends a solid 3 chapters just on establishing how things have grown and evolved ever since the early 1900s. For example, she highlights how today's culture thrives around the bold, outspoken, extrovert of an individual. Look around at any collection of celebrities and count how many are the prototypical "extrovert". The ideal person is outgoing, friendly, loud, charismatic, and charming, certainly not qualities that your average introvert posses and as such get put down for. As an introvert I couldn't help myself from falling in love with her points because all my life I had lived through the EXACT same scenarios she used. Over and over I found myself saying yes, that is me. Yes, that is me. YES! All those times where I would have much preferred to read instead of go to a party or be by myself as opposed to surrounded by people. Before I understood that it was a fault. That my shyness was a weakness to overcome. So literally ALL my life I struggled to fit into what I never was destined to be. Now that I read the book I understand that I had a certain understanding of what she deems "the extrovert ideal" but had never really grasped it until now. I just always felt like something was wrong with me and that I had to change but she really opened to my eyes to understand that there never was anything wrong with me its just that society is built to cater to the extroverted person. I will confess as well that I often caught myself feeling a sense of justified anger as she made subtle jabs at the extrovert ideal and acknowledged the positives of the introvert way of doing things. For the first time in my life I felt someone understood me and was back-talking the system that held me down. So, even as an introvert I must say that this first section of the book may come across as offensive to the extrovert reader. She definitely vents a little as she describes the rise of the extrovert and putting down of the introvert like herself. By the time I got to the third chapter I was actually getting tired of the constant bombardment toward extroverts (she slams Harvard and the general ivy league system of education) and puffing up of the introvert personality.
Right then is where she switches gears and you get a fresh breath of air. Having established the extremes on both sides of the scale she begins to fill in the middle. This is where she really shines. She starts off by including a chapter to help you identify which extreme you lean toward naturally and then goes on to how you can adapt. She explains how/why one extreme can and should take on qualities of the opposite extreme. For example, she highlights how introverts are naturally terrible at public speaking but can overcome it and infuse a little of extroversion into their personality. So just by reading part one you would think she doesn't care for balance but here is where she really advocates and highlights that each extreme has its place. Its our duty to acknowledge which one we are and then learn how to adapt when the situation needs it. It's absolutely beautiful. So much so that it ought to inspire every reader to analyze their own lives and become better, well rounded individuals. She argues the point that the wall street crash was due to an imbalance of personality extremes in the high level management of banking for example. Joining the major themes from part one and two she illustrates how the extrovert ideal riddled management to the point where everyone was bold and more eager to take risks than sit down and ponder outcomes like an introvert would have done. So the extrovert ideal took over and made risks to great that introversion would have kept in check were it allowed to be there. She makes it very clear that the two extremes need each other. She uses numerous other examples (She uses a lot of married couples) to illustrate the need for introverts to keep the extroverts from going off the deep end and how the introverts need the extroverts to get them off the ground and alive.
That naturally leads into parts three and four. These deal with how the two sides can treat other better to fulfill this ideal balance of personalities. This is where the rubber hits the road so to speak. She spent all of the previous pages explaining the theory. The how each personality behaves, and the how each one responds, and how each one is suited for certain scenarios. But here is where she has suggestions on how you can use that knowledge in everyday life to enhance your relationships with your spouse, family, kids, coworkers, and fellow man.
The more I think about the concept of introversion and extroversion I cant help but acknowledge how the vast majority of social issues and problems stem from the simple, often misunderstood differences in each extreme. Introversion/extroversion is literally the base of how we act and what we say in just about every scenario. I am absolutely fascinated by how much life revolves around these two ideals. I'm grateful she has opened my eyes to the importance of such a topic. If everyone could understand this better then the world would be a much better place. I can't emphasize that enough. This book will change your life if you willing to sacrifice the time to read it.
- Reviewed in the United States on June 18, 2014Quiet changed how I view introverts and made me realize how many biases there are against them. Our society values people who are outgoing and people who are shy are considered to have some sort of flaw even though that is their natural personality. I had never thought about or even realized how our society values a very “narrow range of personality styles. (pg. 3)” As an introverted person, I didn’t think I would have any biases against people who are labeled as shy. Was I wrong. Many shy people are encouraged to be social and change which gives them a feeling that something is wrong with them instead of them just having a different personality.
Introversion— along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness— is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are.
-Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 4)
My favorite thing about this book was how it showed that introverts have strengths just by being who they naturally are. An example she used was Rosa Parks who was “shy and courageous (pg. 2).” Susan Cain points out that the Civil Rights movement wouldn’t have gotten started if Rosa Parks had been an outgoing and loud person. It succeeded because she was a quiet, well respected person and the fact that she stood up for herself gained more attention because it was easier for people to realize the huge injustice of it since she was acting against her personality.
Here are a few of the strengths that an introverted person naturally has:
Function well without sleep (pg. 3)
Good at negotiating because their mild-mannered disposition allows them to take strong/aggressive positions and be accepted more easily (pg. 8)
Think before they speak or act (pg. 8, 168)
Prepare more for speeches and negotiations (pg. 8)
Asks lots of questions and listens intently to answers that leads to strong negotiation skills (pg. 8)
Work slowly and deliberately (pg. 11)
Ability to focus intently on one task and high abilities of concentration (pg. 11)
Relatively immune to the temptation of wealth or fame (pg. 11)
Able to delay gratification (pg. 163)
Don’t give up easily (pg. 168)
Leadership style that wins people over (pg. 197)
Work independently which can lead to innovation (pg. 74)
I loved hearing the definition of an introverted person that wasn’t framed in a negative way compared to an extroverted person. An introverted person enjoys less stimulation which is why they tend to like things like reading. They recharge by being alone while extroverted people recharge by socializing. All introverted people are not necessarily shy. I really liked Susan’s illustration of how shyness and introversion were two different things.
Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating. Shyness is inherently painful; introversion is not.
- Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 12)
There’s a quiz in the book to see which end of the spectrum of introversion/extroversion you fall on. She states several times that no one is completely extroverted or introverted. I did get 15/20 on the test which means I fall heavily on the introverted side. So this book felt very relevant to me. But even if you don’t feel like an introverted person, this book has so much value because it’s pretty much guaranteed that you know or are related to someone introverted and it can help you understand and relate to them.
One epiphany I had about myself was learning that some introverted people are sensitive. There’s a study in the book about babies who had personality assessments when they were babies and again when they had grown up. They found the babies who were sensitive, who cried at loud noises and bad smells more easily turned out to be mellow, introverted adults. The babies who were easy going and didn’t react much to new things grew up to be more outgoing. It seems like it should be the other way around, but it makes sense. If an introverted baby is overwhelmed by stimulation, they choose to be around less stimulation as they become adults. I immediately called my mom when I read this study because I will never live down the stories of being the baby who was scared of the orange rug every time I sat on it, the lamp from just looking at it, and my aunt’s braces when she smiled. And when Susan Cain is talking about sensitivity she is using the psychological term.
Many introverts are also “highly sensitive,” which sounds poetic, but is actually a technical term in psychology. If you are a sensitive sort, then you’re more apt than the average person to feel pleasantly overwhelmed by Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata” or a well-turned phrase or an act of extraordinary kindness. You may be quicker than others to feel sickened by violence and ugliness, and you likely have a very strong conscience.
-Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 14)
It’s as if, like Eleanor Roosevelt, they can’t help but feel what others feel.
-Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 138)
I wasn’t expecting this book to help me think about what I really want to do with my life. Introverts are more likely to ignore their own preferences for career choices. The author talks about her career choice as a lawyer and even though she was good at it, she didn’t enjoy or even want to do it. She listed three steps to finding out what you love to do.
First, think back to what you loved to do when you were a child. (pg. 218)
Second, pay attention to the work you gravitate to. (pg. 218)
Finally, pay attention to what you envy. Jealousy is an ugly emotion, but it tells the truth. You mostly envy those who have what you desire. (pg. 218)
When I went through these steps I realized that I love reading and reviewing books. Go figure after studying music and then finance in college that I would eventually come back to reading which I have loved doing since elementary school. Blogging about books has been such a great outlet and way for me to write which I also loved doing. I had to giggle when I came across this quote because my husband can’t believe some of the things I post on my blog for the world to see sometimes.
Studies have shown that, indeed, introverts are more likely than extroverts to express intimate facts about themselves online that their family and friends would be surprised to read…
-Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 63)
If being introverted is so great, why isn’t it valued in our society? There’s an entire chapter that talks about the shift in American culture to over-emphasize the value of extroverted people that led to a devaluing of introverted people. It was very interesting. It involves industrial change, work force changes, and even parenting changes. She compares other cultures to America’s (like China) and shows how their value of extroversion is not as strong or even the opposite and how that affects their culture. The biggest thing that contributed to extroversion being over-valued has to do with the business world. Loud, fast talking people are seen as leaders even if it negatively affects others. Harvard Business School teaches that true leaders have quick and assertive answers which might have led to many of the financial crises since the slow and cautious decision makers were mostly dismissed. There was a study in the book that questioned whether extroverted people are always the best leaders. It turns out they are excellent leaders if their employees are very passive, but in a work environment where the employees are more proactive an introverted leader is actually more efficient at utilizing the knowledge and experience of their employees.
You would think that as an introverted person it would be easy to parent an introverted child. That’s not necessarily true and I enjoyed the parenting tips in the book. I need to remember that my child is just sensitive to things that are new in general and not to label him as shy or anti-social.
I feel like I know myself a little better after reading Quiet. I can recognize now when I’m feeling overwhelmed from stimulation and I make it a point to take time to myself to read or spend time on my own. It’s made me a lot happier. I also have been standing up for myself more, but in my own way by asking lots of questions and not being afraid to speak my mind just because I’m not a loud person. It also made me realize the social pressures I had been putting on myself and my kids. I always felt guilty for not having “enough” play dates and social time. And by “enough” I mean daily play dates. I realize now that the pace of a few times a week makes both my and my kids happy. I don’t feel pressure to have them constantly doing something with other kids anymore. Most of all it helped me realize that I am not an anti-social person. Now that I’m aware that going out with lots of friends or to parties will drain me, I make time to wind down afterwards and I no longer turn down social invitations since I understand my personality better. I feel like for me, this book accomplished what Susan Cain wanted it to.
If there is only one insight you take away from this book, though, I hope it’s a newfound sense of entitlement to be yourself.
-Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (p. 16)
Overall, Quiet shifted my perspective on what it means to be introverted and I learned a lot about myself in the process. I highly recommend this book.
Top reviews from other countries
- Mario CárdenasReviewed in Mexico on July 7, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars A must!
It starts as a story of victims in a world of extroverts. If you lack empathy for that kind of direction in a story, you may dislike it. But keep on reading. This book is a jewel. You will gain a much better understanding of yourself and others, wether you are an introvert or not. Definetly one of the two best books i have read this year so far. And probably last year, too.
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Leandro FreireReviewed in Brazil on June 29, 2023
5.0 out of 5 stars Uma grande oportunidade de se conhecer melhor
O livro trouxe à tona vários aspectos da minha própria personalidade que eu não fazia ideia de que residiam aqui dentro. Recomendo a todos introvertidos.
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Zehra BiliciReviewed in Germany on December 12, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars richtig gutes buch
konnte sehr viel lernen durch das buch, richtig toll geschrieben
- SWReviewed in Poland on October 22, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
Love it explains a lot
- NDReviewed in the United Kingdom on October 21, 2023
5.0 out of 5 stars A Life-Changer for Introverts and Extroverts Alike!
I picked up "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" with the expectation of understanding introverts better, but what I found was an eye-opening revelation that has transformed the way I view myself and those around me.
Susan Cain's insightful exploration of the introvert-extrovert spectrum not only offers deep insights into the strengths and qualities of introverts but also serves as a wake-up call for extroverts like myself to better appreciate and harness the power of introversion. This book is not just for introverts; it's for everyone.
Cain's storytelling skills make this book an engaging and informative read. Her anecdotes and the extensive research behind her arguments blend seamlessly, making it accessible and compelling for a wide range of readers. I found myself nodding in agreement and often saying, "Aha, that's me!" or "I never thought of it that way."
"Quiet" is not just about the inherent qualities of introverts; it also delves into the societal bias towards extroversion and offers valuable advice on how to create a world that caters to both personality types. Whether you're an introvert seeking validation and guidance or an extrovert looking to understand and collaborate more effectively with your introverted counterparts, this book has something profound to offer.
In a world that often celebrates the loudest voices, "Quiet" is a refreshing reminder of the incredible strengths that introverts bring to the table. It has helped me appreciate the power of silence and solitude, and how crucial they are for creativity, leadership, and personal growth.
I highly recommend "Quiet" to anyone who wants to better understand the dynamics of introversion and extroversion and how they shape our lives and society as a whole. It's a game-changer, and I can't recommend it enough. Susan Cain's work is nothing short of brilliant, and this book deserves every one of its five stars.